I have continually agonized over how to write the complexities of being a PAL because one year ago, I carried Jude’s sister who –thanks to him, is here now.

I’ve agonized over telling the stories I know I need to tell. I’ve become frail, fragile, fragmented, and fearful…so many things that you, Jude, rescued me from.

Then I heard your song, and I remembered you wanted me to be rave, to be an adult, to be inspired through every fiber of my being.

I’m slowly returning to where we started and to where you want me to be. I know I’ve embraced some things you’ve imparted to me, but I know I’ve allowed myself to fear when I know I shouldn’t.

I love you, Jude. I know I’ve got nothing to fear because you’re in me and with me. I’ll always be a nerd. I’ll always be offbeat. I’ll always be oblivious. I’ll always be with you. You’ll keep me forever young and forever with you.

I’ll always be 31 years old. There will ne a viable part of me that is always living in December 26, 2014. 

I love you. I’m happy to be forever young with you my love. Happy 22 months. May you always live in me and through me and -I through you.  You’re my heart.